Enjoy the humorous but meaty incidents worthy to unveil, Rajashri Iyer met with, in her one month long (short) sojourn as a Spoken English teacher.

I usher you from the evolutionary aerobics of English education In India, which myself narrated in the article ‘English, uninterrupted’. Hope you had already gone through it.

Thus evolution process went on uninterrupted. School curriculum has seen a number of remarkable changes. Almost all the crash courses in spoken English for the school teachers came to an end. Next thought was something brawny. That is to teach the school children from KG class onwards, the communicative aspects of English. It is a scientifically proven fact that, a child can learn more than 5-10 languages simultaneously, before he attains the age of 10. That period is known as LAP i.e. Language Acquisition Period. And if he has got a systematic training in spoken English, in this period he will be able to speak English fluently, without any inhibitions.

Thus the school time table has got one more period as ‘spoken English’ where the students are got to be trained by some other ‘teachers’. These spoken English teachers are specially molded by some local institutes under the guidance of some English-spitting guys, who own no teacher resources, but some experiences working abroad. As these spoken English teachers were not the enrolled staff of the school, they were paid by the said institutes, which collect Rs.50-60 per month from each student as ‘spoken English fee’ through the school management.

Molding of a Spoken English teacher

They are getting trained in the coaching institutes hardly for one month, 2 hours a day. The training module contains, English rhymes, various ways of salutation, thanks-giving and a list of phrases and usages and simple English exercises to be mugged up on a whole. These candidates need not be graduates. (Sometimes never an English-fluent!!!). I was kicked aback to hear the selection procedures of the spoken English teachers, to be molded. No age bar, No sex bar, no qualification bar. They need not possess any teaching experience. The only thing is that they should be willing to work any where in India. The institute takes utmost care not to appoint a native person in his own state. They are distributed to various parts of India after the one month ‘training’ session. After the appointment, certain institutes make some follow-ups with the school authorities, but most of them visit the school only to collect the fee from students.

If the person is an Anglo-Indian, the institute as well as the demanding school authority is happy. When asked, the Principal of a Higher Secondary school replied, “The Anglo-Indians do not know any word in regional language. So, naturally the students will be pushed towards English, as there is no other way to communicate with the teacher.”

When talked to the students of that school (in a rural area in Karnataka), the complete picture has got unveiled before me. When asked in English, even the middle school children could not understand what I was asking. So I switched over to Kannada and got what I want.

Old wine in the Foreign bottle

For the toddlers, the spoken English class is simply for ‘English’ games and music. The only difference when it comes to the LP level is that they would be able to say ‘hello’, ‘good morning’, ‘good afternoon’ and ‘thank you’. When it comes to the middle school level, they call somebody ‘excuse me’ to seek attention. They also have mugged up 4-6 sentences like ‘when will the next bus to Mudaru come?’ ‘Which is the way to Udupi?’ and like. For this kind of training, the institutes claim that they teach the children to make ‘one-lines’. But for the hapless Kannada medium students, making a one-line sentence is something very difficult, as they are trained only to mug up some notes and never the basics of a sentence structure, by their spoken English teachers who possess no teacher resources.

When it comes to the high school section, the condition is more pathetic. They have loads of subjects to study and are always seen apprehended with examination mania. Besides, the spoken English teacher is not equipped with any basic knowledge of English, (other than spitting the Yankee spurts)

to deal with them, except some spoon-fed idioms. The students might have forgotten what they learned in the UP class as ‘one-lines’.

When discussed this matter with some English language teachers of such schools, all of them had the same thing to say, irrespective of the regions. “They (the spoken English teachers) are just disordering the skills of our students by skimpily drifting through the colloquialisms….actually, there is no need for such teachers. New syllabus is having ample communicative content. We can do that in order to support the child to learn to speak English, in an orderly manner.” When enquired about their fluency and command over English, a local TV channel reporter from Trivandrum told me, “You just come to Kovalam Beach. There you will find some guys with dirty shirts on, selling peanuts to foreigners. Just talk to them in English. You will be stunned to hear their foreign accent and unhindered flow. Don’t you know? Language is a habit..”.

Soap opera

“Yes, I know, it is a habit” Chanting this mantra, I applied for the vacancy of a spoken English teacher in an institution in Kerala, where I got the ‘rigorous training ‘which was the same I heard from Karnataka with a number of gewgaw English games to mesmerize the children . But one major difference in Kerala was that, they asked a fee of Rs.2000/- for this ‘valuable knowledge’ we acquired from there. When some protested, they deducted the amount from their first month salary. After the training and before the appointment, one more opera has staged on – interview to grand grades for the candidates and adjust the salary accordingly. The girl who interviewed me was looked like an Anglo-Indian, and during the interview she corrected my grammar mistakes without lifting her head towards me.

‘What is your hobby?’ She asked

‘Observation’.

‘What observation?’

‘Just observing humans’… like… a child’s mannerisms, looking around..”

“Say children” She interrupted.

And like, the interview ended with a sigh from her. At the end of the session, we, the spoken English teachers got an advice from the head of the Institute: “We have only one years’ contract with the schools.  So, you need not be so supportive to the students. To clear their doubts there is their English teacher. Whenever you feel some compassion to any student, just remember that you are getting only Rs.20/- from him”.

Another one from my group got one more advice. “I know that you are a keralite. But the school authorities demanded for Anglo-Indians and we have no one like that, right now. So we’ve told them that you are from Maharashtra. So behave there as a Maratti. Never utter any Malayalam word in the campus.”

With nuns and ‘nones’

Even though short, my term in that convent school is worth remembering. For the last five years the students were got trained by the spoken English teachers from an institute based at Bangalore. But if asked anything in English, the poor children (8^th 9^th stds) will start stammering “ Mam, please ask in Malayalam.”. So I will have to explain my question in a Pidgin English (mixed with Tamil). Some students, who are able to communicate in ‘somewhat English language’, shared a lot of their past years’ experiences with their spoken English teachers, with me. I was interested to chat with them in a broken Tamil-Malayalam-English lingo.

For the higher classes spoken English period was for English games and relaxation. Children enjoyed it at the benefit of not having a ‘games period’. They used to play in the class, ‘without making any disturbances’ to the neighboring classes. When I started to teach them some ‘stuff’, they pressed me to follow the same old pattern of games and music. I told them, “I’m not your music teacher and I’m already ‘over aged’ to play with you”. But they sang a lot of English songs for me. They used to sing these songs when guests visit their homes and their parents look on with pride and brood over the worth of a ‘simple Rs.60/-‘. All on a sudden morning when their kids start saying ‘good morning’ to the news paper man and the milk man, parents were happy. When these guys sing English songs and English prayers, the principal was also very happy.

One day a girl told me with filled eyes, ‘You are so nice Mam. Earlier, our spoken English Mams won’t talk to us….they concentrated only on those who speak English.’ While patting on her shoulder I thought of ‘that mam’s” dilemma to understand and solve the doubts of these hapless ‘mallu’ chaps.

As the school curriculum demands more activities, these institutes which nurture the spoken English teachers, always create a smoke-screen of vibrant and colorful activities laced with a tint of English. They conducted various such performances almost daily in the school premises. Through the open assembly they made the children read the written conversations with poor English accent and intonation. Only the English language teachers could come to realize these absurdities and the others, including the principal, simply enjoyed it, agape, at these ‘elite deliveries’. In the notice boards on the walls, they made the children stick glitter papers in various patterns (the coaching institute’s name in bold fonts), banal quiz question drills, asking “who invented radio? Which is the largest flower in the world?’ and like. A lot of answers fall into the box on which the bolded names of the coaching institute’s name is engraved. The spoken English teachers have to search for the right answers, cast lot to chose the winner and in a ceremonious ambience, enjoying the teeming rhapsody of English megalomania, the fully contended principal gives away the prizes (usually a pen with the name of the institute etched on), while the English language teachers look on gravely.

Another cacophonic thing I really found funny, is the importing of some English men, putting them in the shoes of a ‘trainer’ to exhibit to the school authorities. This is just to hood wink the poor nuns (who get embarrassed on seeing a ‘Hollywood heart-throb’ alive for the first time), and nothing to do with the children or the completely passive spoken English teacher, their product.

Guised as a spoken English teacher, I too had to succumb to such ridiculous activities in which I found myself a major fiasco. English language teachers often scowled on seeing me, as if I descended there only to deglamorise them. Almost all the time they simply avoided or neglected me, like an uninvited guest who deserves no right to be called as a ‘teacher’, but receives a handsome salary almost double they get.

After my ‘mission’ I bid good-bye to the school premises, the innocent children and those generous and affectionate nuns without disclosing my real identity. I just told my children ‘Don’t feel inferior to anybody. Language is nothing but a habit, to be practiced like cycling and swimming. Clear your doubts with your English language teachers’. I know that they are not contended with my words. But I found tears in their eyes, because they loved me so much since, I was their spoken English teacher, once.

Rajashri Iyer envisages the never-to-be-ruled-out needs of the English language in India with a narrow mapping of its evolution through the teaching-learning process.

“Learn to speak what you feel, and act what you speak.” – Baba

In fact every one wants to practice it but cannot. It is in a three dimensional aspect, as the statement itself has put up to be. The difficulty is with the articulation of the three aspects of susceptibility – feeling, speaking, and acting. A personal inhibition of pragmatic logic when work out between the second and the third, the language with which the articulation has to be done creates the hitch between the first and the second.

Language is as to the “cawing is to the crows or roaring is to the lions”. It has to be such a thing which should come out involuntarily, as the expression of our feelings – both in writing and in speaking. Language is a mirror turned toward your inner world, the culture you possess.

English in India

In a country like India, having a history replete with cultural invasions and burdened with a pell-mell of cultures and regional dialects, a link language is indispensable. Even after 62 years, India is still a British colony in her inner self.  Indians adore those who speak English fluently. With the gate crash of IT and globalizations, English became her primary necessity and English has become ‘a glue’ for the whole India which has 18 official languages to preserve.

Apart from its enormous utility, it is considered to be the language of gentlemen and sophisticated ladies. Indian markets are flooded with English titles. Indian newspapers hit the headlines in peppy English banners. If you travel through the length and breadth of India, you can feel the spell of English with which it has conquered the largest democracy in the world. English is emerging as the elite language in India in every minute, like a power upon, as it had been for a century before 1947.

The advent of English in India took place at a time when India was in a semi-feudal state of social development. English came here as the representation of bourgeois culture, art, and democracy. Its impact was deep and multifaceted. Though Indians boast over their ‘unity in diversity’, actually they are stifling inside, among this ‘diversity’. 28 states sing ‘Jana gana mana..’ as their national anthem, without knowing its full meaning, except Bengalis. The medley of regional dialects makes the domestic travelers confused. Despite the government declaration of Hindi as the National Language, almost 95% of South Indians are still unable to speak Hindi. They could at least understand Hindi, thanks to the Bollywood hits.

At this moot point, let me say, at the pinnacle of endurance, Indians picked the powerful dialect of English to talk to their ‘brothers and sisters’ of their neighboring states. (Most of our national leaders including Nehru and Bose had their education in England and they used this language to unite Indians against the English!!!). From the earlier sardonic mindset, the old fogies came to the sarcastic reality and ultimately to the practical present, where they could figure out the significance and necessity of English. Almost parallel with this phenomenon, the modish young generation met with several set backs in their social and professional life only because of the lack of proficiency in English. They began to adore, imitate and start to be trained in communicative English as well.

Pit falls of the Education system

English is being recognized by every one in India and as such, it took the absolute whip-hand in the country. It became the need of the hour.

But the pity is that, even though could write good English, nobody was able to speak it fluently. As innate to Indians, especially south Indians, inhibitions hitched their fluency while speaking. The fault was with the method of teaching English in the school levels.

English was taught in the Indian schools as a subject instead of treating it as a communicative medium. The teacher who teaches English would be a graduate in Science or Mathematics. They never possessed the needed knowledge about English grammar or syntax. Students were just parroting English essays and question-answer drills by notes. They regurgitated it into the answer sheets and scored marks, thanks to the memory power.

Evolution of English in India

When this generation grew up, they had to face many deplorable aftermaths of this kind of training. Their inability to communicate effectively in English, barred them from several opportunities. They had to remain tight-lipped even when ideas and answers were foaming inside.

However, these victims when they became parents decided their children not to suffer these ordeals and they availed admissions in sophisticated English medium schools. But that too was possible only for a small segment which possessed a good financial back up. Still a good majority has got pushed back in the onrush of globalization, as mere vegetables.

Then came, from the authoritative end, ‘measures to check the educational hazards’ which hinder the ‘bright future’ of the aspirants. Thus DPEP has got evolved and the teachers had to climb up to the top of a mango tree to ‘demonstrate’ the students how a mango is ‘born’ on a mango tree, and how it is available in the market for us to buy and bite. The system has got severe flays and eventually brought in, a dead end within 2-3 years of its implementation.

After 2 years of the new millennium, another innovative idea put forth by the researchers. The Education Department decided to appoint only English graduates with B.Ed in English as the English teachers. With the bombastic entrance of these new English teachers, well trained in English grammar and Language training techniques, there came a boom among the students. They got over the ‘trigonometrical’ and ‘geographical’ touch and go s and began to enjoy English poems and prose at ease. Students are happy, schools are happy, parents are happy…But the sad thing is that these teachers directly walk into the high school classes and never to the primary class!!
(As the red-knot inflicted bureaucratic system is still in its pupal stage in India, the appointment of English teachers is affected by the gruesome time lag which turns the goal upside down by appointing inappropriate candidates to the vacant posts. Sluggish fillings from the age old list lead to the outdated persons to teach the updated syllabus. The affluent people send their wards to CBSE schools while the students of government schools coming from poor families still continue to stifle to follow the new methodology despite the novel methods inculcated to their English language teachers through the cluster classes, usually in a weekly basis.)

Origin of duplicates

As the demand for English teachers increased, almost all spheres of life reflected its urgency and extravaganza simultaneously. Those who can spell others by speaking English became the center of requirement, though they lack the required qualifications. Sprouting of Spoken English coaching centers in every nook and corner of India became a common sight. They offered crash courses for those having ‘no time’ to spend. But some got on the nerves that only by giving coaching to the grown ups would not be enough for a country which lacks the ‘most wanted’ item.

As teachers play a vital role in the development of students, the teachers should be equipped with a good command over English. The ‘Spoken English people’ could convince the governing end, about this ‘rodent’ fact. So crash courses in Spoken English for the school teachers had been conducted from the management level. For this purpose, the private management, especially the schools run by the Christian missionaries (in fact they are the pioneers in bringing out a systematic and disciplined education system across the country through their convent mode), chose some Anglo-Indians. Along with this trend, the school curriculum has met with tremendous changes, but, as you know, the evolution process never stops. English education in India is still struggles to balance upon the wheels of school education at the front and ‘crash course practices’ at the back end.

(Continue reading the humorous experiences the author herself had on this matter and get a clean picture of the present scenario. Read ‘The Spoken English Teacher’)